Review: Lady Gaga – Joanne

According to Lady Gaga, the album Joanne is about family, friendship, and learning from the past. She explains that this is “me going out into the world and bringing with me its deepest stories that I have of my life and turning them into songs.” Quite honestly, we could stand to know less about her. This album reeks of dirty laundry. I’m as happy as the next person with the standard themes – sex, drugs, and rock & roll – but for someone like Lady Gaga, who began playing piano at age four and performing at open mics at age 14, then followed that up with a songwriting apprenticeship at a world-renowned publishing company, she still has so much to learn about lyrics. In the past, Gaga has commented that she hopes to be able to get to a place where she doesn’t feel she needs drugs to create. We hope she gets there sooner than later. This album is proof that, at this point, sobriety can’t hurt.

My biggest issue with this album can be summed up in one word: Sloppy. If you’re going to rip off the greats through the decades, at least have the decency to do their work justice. Or at the very least not depress the hell out of your audience with lyrics about prostitution, intravenous drug use, and bad masturbation. Every song is a reminder of someone else’s work. We’ve already heard it, only better the first time. The concept was to span decades and genres, but simply put, it spreads itself too thin. The album is co-produced by Lady Gaga and Mark Ronson, two neighborhood pals from NYC. What we’re left with is a direct reflection of that relationship, nothing more than the brainchild of two old friends re-envisioning their favorite mixtape.

Take the candidate most likely to succeed from the album, “A-Yo”, a Mickey wannabe. According to Lady Gaga it’s her “America is great” cheer. Unfortunately, with lyrics like “Get off on me; My body’s got you pleadin’; Light me up and breathe in; Mirror on the ceiling” this is not one parents want the kids humming along to around the holidays while the grandparents are in town. “Dancin’ In Circles” is an ode to masturbation but it can’t even reach the low bar set by Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself”. That’s because the lyrics, once again, catch her up. “I’m up all night tryin’ to rub the pain out.” It sounds unpleasant, and really, who wants to have bad selfie sex?

The strongest commercial thing about Joanne is the first single, “Perfect Illusion”. Destined to blow up in clubs and on radio she recaptures the 80s chick anger sounds she was reaching for in “Diamond Heart” – her ode to Grace Slick and Pat Benatar – but uses her own style and formula for success to get her there. Vocally, as well as melodically, you cannot miss the parallel to Madonna’s own “Papa Don’t Preach” on the main lyric “It’s a perfect illusion”. This song lives in the gay happy zone. It is fun and fabulous and it is going to be stereotypical for a night and dance like no one is watching all the same.

I would have chosen the first singles differently starting with tracks that might give Gaga the most financial success over time. The timing could not be more ripe for a song like “Come To Mama”. This is going to be huge in the monster community. It speaks to hipsters and pin-up girl wannabes alike. In other words, her generation. If sock hops and American bandstand are boss in your world, this is your jam. “Grigio Girls” has publishing rights appeal. It will be in demand with vineyards, movies and TV shows alike. Given the backstory – that it was written for a group of friends who are doing their best to deal with a pal’s breast cancer – I’d be stunned if she doesn’t do some combo donation deal with a breast cancer research foundation and vineyard.

The title track “Joanne” is a remake of, well let’s face it, every song off the Juno soundtrack. “John Wayne” tries to be “Life In The Fast Lane” by the Eagles with copycat lyrics from Prince’s “Little Red Corvette”. “Angel Down” speaks to today. It’s a 60s throwback making it perfectly appropriate to reach baby boomer kids. As with the rest, it lacks lyrical depth. “Just Another Day” is a complete Beatles rip-off but oh what fun! Beautiful voice. I love the throwback sound but wish it wasn’t so damned depressing and lyrically repetitive. Repetition works for catchy pop tunes, but with this style it’s not nearly as acceptable.

“Million Reasons” feels like she’s trying to compete with Adele, but simply put, she cannot. Her pipes will never go there, especially while she’s trying to skip through her own vocal range change. “Hey Girl” is Lady Gaga’s version of a chick anthem set to what would normally be a 70s style R&B love song. She is, most definitely, not Barry White. The bridge has a touch of Gaga electronics. I think they should have pulled more on that string to see where it led. “Sinner’s Prayer” is her hidden gem but even that starts with ripping off The Munsters’ theme song before rolling straight into Vicki Lawrence worthy lyrics akin to “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia”.

Had Lady Gaga waited until her mid-30s to write this, it could have been a very different album. Right out of your 20s, there is a lot of change that goes on in a woman’s life. The chains of societal expectations are broken. There’s a lot of angst that goes with that process and that is what we see in Gaga’s creation that is Joanne. What you’re left with are a few mediocre songs that have some commercial value. She will go on to win awards because of her loyal fan base. However, rewarding the lack of lyrical development at this stage in her career would be shameful. In the end I’m left with the same conclusion I’ve always had about Lady Gaga. She is the Cher of her generation. She’s all about the show. In the game of perfect illusions, she continues to win. As she settles into married life, perhaps we will finally be able to see the real Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. The peaks behind the curtain are intriguing but it is not yet worth the price of admission, or the time to sit through the whole show, for that rare glimpse between the shining distractions.

 
Written by Sam Gilman

Sam I. Gilman is a music journalist who has been involved with the industry as a DJ, voice-over talent and on-air host for radio and TV stations around the globe. www.gilmansays.com

 
Author’s rating for Joanne

Pop Magazine’s official rating for Joanne

Rating key
MASTERPIECE a must-have
SUPERB for heavy rotation
EXCELLENT a great achievement
VERY GOOD a respectable result
GOOD worth checking out
FAIR an average outcome
WEAK not convincing stuff
BAD an underwhelming effort
VERY BAD quite a waste
FAIL a total failure